I cannot believe this is happening…
French group “La Manif” will stage a protest In London against the passing of the English gay marriage bill
Most French people who live in London support equality and think gay people should be allowed to get married. Why else would you move to a forward-thinking mecca like our own? Many French people in London will be disgusted to learn that an anti-gay marriage protest is being organised in the city centre by a group who hail from France.
But alas, here we are. A French organisation called “La Manif pour Tous” are going to stage an anti-gay protest on Sunday 24th of March against the passing of the gay marriage bill right here in our very own London. Journalist Scott Roberts broke the story on Pink News earlier today.
Boris Johnson will hopefully be put under pressure by the British media to call off the ridiculous protest and save Londoners (and tourists) from having to endure loud hatred and vitriol in the heart of our capital city.
Is it just me, or is this evidence enough that these guys are a totally fucked-up bunch:
Using your own kids as accessories in a political protest. Really?
But what would I know about children? I’m gay. I don’t come from a family. I grew on a tree, or did I come free with a Billie Piper CD? I forget.
Earth calling anti-gay marriage people…
I don’t know if La Manif know this, but the British public are overwhelmingly in favour of gay marriage! The debate is over, go home, get a new hobby. Your protest is going to achieve nothing. It’s a waste of your time! Also you’re doing it on a Sunday – shouldn’t you be in church hearing the one about the ark?
Our prime minister David Cameron wants gay marriage. The majority of our politicians want gay marriage. After years of tireless debate and column inches, we’re getting gay marriage and the bill is set to pass.
So who exactly are this group “La Manif pour Tous” ?
They refuse to shine a spotlight on any kind of leader. Correct my French if I’m wrong, but I think their name translates as “A bunch of sad fucking misery-indulging brainwashed tossers” ?
When La Manif aren’t giving up their free time to attack gay rights, they like to create racist posters like this:
When they’re not doing that they like to start immature arguments in the French press. For example they kicked off about the word “Maternelle” which means primary school in France because it stems from the word for mother. La Manif argued that if gay couples were going to send their adopted kids to school then maternelles would need to change their name, because some kids wouldn’t have mothers.
Clearly they forgot that single-dads have existed for thousands of years and that some kids don’t have mothers. They also failed to address the fact that lesbian couples’ kids actually get twice as much mother than your typical family portrait, and so maybe their kids should be sent to “supermaternelles” for awesome kids who have two Mums?
I don’t know. I don’t care. I’m giving you an example of the messy kind of insensitive crap that La Manif like to rattle on about.
Some rumours have suggested that… *Scooby Doo denouement gasp* … the Catholic Church are behind the group. La Manif are certainly getting money from somewhere. They’re not backed by any kind of government and they certainly ain’t selling many t-shirts. Perhaps Ann Widdecombe’s won on the scratchcards and gone on an anti-gay protest spree for shits and giggles. Who knows.
So why are a French group protesting in London?
I know right. We have our own psychopaths to deal with.
The reason is a larger protest is going to happen in Paris on the same day, and so this Trafalgar Square anti-gay protest will be like the British limb of it. The one in France actually looks pretty menacing. The group even have a creepy countdown to it on their website like it’s a fucking wrestling match.
La Manif did a big rally in Paris two months ago, but it was arguably a MASSIVE FAILURE after a nicer group of sane Parisiens staged a successful anti-anti-gay march. So I suppose this protest on the 24th is La Manif’s anti-anti-anti-gay march? When will it occur to them that they could just chill the fuck out and, I don’t know, buy a packet of crisps?
So what will happen in London on Sunday 24th?
A bunch of bigots will turn up in Trafalgar Square with some hateful signs and slogans, lower high-street anoraks and flasks of weak tea.
I find it funny that the protest will be in Trafalgar Square, named after the Battle of Trafalgar and home to Nelson’s Column . In other words –Britain’s biggest monument to French defeat. Where are La Manif going to host the after-party, Waterloo?
Trafalgar Square is also home to the National Portrait gallery. One of their most popular exhibitions in recent years was the Gay Icons exhibition. Members of La Manif might be interested to know that the exhibition featured this portrait of human rights campaigner Peter Tatchell who has fought tirelessly across decades for marriage equality:
Why was Peter Tatchell’s portrait included? Because London is a pro-gay city. We fight for human rights, free love and we celebrate those who campaign tirelessly FOR equality, not against it.
So what should us decent Londoners do about this protest?
Well it’s hard to combat La Manif in a media arena when they don’t even have a public leader and when they strive to be so structurally anonymous. (Why are they like that anyway? Isn’t that a bit sinister? You wouldn’t see Jesus hiding in a web forum with a blue silhouette for an avatar. He’d be right out there on Twitter with his water-into-wine gif)
Members of London’s gay community could possibly go to Trafalgar Square on the 24th and protest against their protest. But is it worth our time? These guys failed in Paris and they’re going to fail here. Perhaps we should just ignore them?
Many of us are used to waking up in Trafalgar Square on Sunday mornings anyway, with a kebab under our heads as a makeshift pillow. Trafalgar Square is around the corner from Heaven you see, Britain’s biggest gay club. Perhaps Heaven could hold a super late party so that we can all stumble out into Trafalgar Square at nine in the morning blowing neon plastic whistles and ululating?
Maybe Nicole Scherzinger could come along too if she’s not busy? We could send her into the protest on a fortified rhino, lassoing her microphone around? Maybe she should launch an anti-bigot boomerang to promote her recent hit of the same name?
So what is the conclusion?
Basically, La Manif need to get the memo:
“Vous n’ êtes plus à la maternelle!”
Or the English translation:
“GROW THE FUCK UP!”
Frère Jack will keep you updated with information about any kind of anti-protest protest that might take place on March 24th. Perhaps we could take some strings of garlic and Madonna-style crucifixes to fend the French bigots off with?
But until then, let’s stop giving these backwards people the publicity and negative energy that they so hollowly crave.
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