Joyeux Noël from Frère Jack

A Christmas letter…

Frere Jack - Jack Cullen

I just want to wish all of TÊTU’s readers a very merry Christmas! Any Gay French Londoners who are returning to the homeland for Christmas – I hope that you have safe journeys back to your various quarters of the Hexagon. To all the sophisticated gay couples who have their own swank flats in London and have French family coming over here, make sure to give them a great time and show off the best of our city.

Driving home for Christmas:

As of tomorrow I shall be sat at home in the East Midlands, watching my family read the TV guide, pens poised, ready to circle things that they want to watch. A week away from London doesn’t sound like a lot but it really is when you’re spending it with your family! It’s good to see everyone for about 24 hours, then I start to miss the lights and bars of London. What’s even worse for me this Christmas is I currently don’t have an iPhone so I can’t even go on Grindr. I think I’ll use this Christmas as an opportunity to catch up on reading. Or maybe I’ll knit myself a sexy jumper to flaunt in Soho come January.


Stuffing the turkey:

To make the most of my final evening in London before Christmas I visited The Vault 139 last night. It’s a men-only sex club in Fitzrovia. On Mondays and Thursdays the dresscode is footwear only. Upon arrival you pay £7 (which includes a free drink) and they give you a plastic crate to store all of your clothes in. Men drink and chat in the main bar area before wandering around the back rooms (and into “The Vaults”) for a bit of fun, either in groups or pairs. You can read some visitor reviews of it on this page of the website Night Tours.

The Vault 139

I know that Paris has several bars like The Vault (such as L’Impact which I visited last year). Some things that I like about The Vault are it’s quite cheap, it’s very centrally located (on a quiet and safe street) and there are some really hot guys in there.

One thing I prefer about L’Impact though is that you can run up a bar tab. In The Vault you have to carry money around in your shoes! I also prefer Parisien sex clubs because they’re more selective. The Vault doesn’t have an outside bouncer and they’ll let any old bloke in, which means you sometimes find yourself dodging unwanted hands.

Until the world ends:

So last night was also meant to be the end of the world. My gay journalist friend Dylan B Jones even prepared an apocalypse playlist. To celebrate the end of the world Dylan and I went to ESCAPE bar (when I’d ran out of ideas/energy/men in The Vault).

ESCAPE looks like this:


It’s one of the few bars in Soho that is open until 3am midweek. Drinks are dirt cheap there on Thursdays. For £1.40 you can buy a vodka and mixer or bottle of beer. Shots of Sambuca and Tequila costs 99p! The reason the photo says “Queerly Out” is because that’s the name of the night. It’s kind of a bad gay half-pun on nothing.

Also if you’re lucky you might bump into one of London’s tranny superstars like Lady Lloyd:


The Mayan Calendar:

Anyway. The world didn’t end, which is why you’re reading this. Over here in the British newspapers we heard that you guys in France totally panicked and all fled to remote villages for safety? Ha!

So the Mayan Calendar was wrong. If you’re looking for a better calendar, I recommend the Warwick University Rowing Club naked calendar. Watch the promo video here:

Warwick Rowing Calendar

You can buy the calendar here. Does France have the same craze for naked calendars? Obviously you have the famous Dieux Du Stade series, but do you also have amateur ones by students sports team? If so – please do send me a link, I’d love to take a look!

What’s next?

Frère Jack has some exciting pieces in the pipeline for you. There will be more interviews with GFLs coming up in 2013, write-ups on London events, some restaurant and bar reviews, and of course gay French gossip from London. So stay tuned and see you soon! If you want to get in touch with me you can find me on Twitter @jackcullenuk or you can email TÊTU.

I shall be spending the New Year’s Eve week in a derelict house in the middle of nowhere in Scotland, so I may not reply straight away!

Joyeux Noël!

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